Wednesday, July 6, 2011
looking back: the day we found out baby was a mister
I was looking through some baby things the other day (the whole two items I have bought for baby boy), and came upon this little onesie. It made me smile as I looked back at it's story.
I understand why everyone thinks we kept having babies just to try and get our boy. After all, it makes sense. Girl, girl, girl, girl. . .and then a boy? Of course everyone I meet is going to ask, "So you finally got that boy!" or "Now that you finally got that boy you can call 'er quits!" Still, it makes me uneasy because although we are of course thrilled to be having a little boy, that definitely isn't the reason we had another baby. Really? By now I know pretty well how much work goes into this whole process of raising a child. Being that our chances were only 50/50 (and actually less than that once you've got a streak going, according to the doctors), it seems kind of silly to me that we would keep having children until we got "that boy"! '
So how did this come to be? It sounds crazy now, but I started feeling like there was another little one for our family about. .. oh, a week or so after Claire was born. You can bet how excited that made me. For a while, I blamed it on the post-partum crazies. However, the impression only got stronger and stronger. She was only a few months old when, despite all my best efforts at convincing myself otherwise, I was sure that we were supposed to have another baby. And soon!
You should have seen the look on Courtney's face the first time (and every time thereafter) that we talked about it.
To put it mildly, it took a while to convince ourselves that this really was supposed to happen, and much longer before it actually did. I have learned so much about receiving answers to prayers, recognising promptings, and maybe most importantly - trusting in those feelings. Much of what we have experienced is personal and tucked away in our journals for us to remember.
One thing we know for sure, this baby was meant to come to our family- and we can't wait to meet him.
So. . .once we found out we were expecting, you can bet we were looking forward to taking a peek to see what little person was so intent on joining us. Courtney was sure it would be another girl, and kept assuring me that he was great with that! For some reason, the whole drive there I was a nervous wreck.
We were both shocked when the very first minute the ultrasound technician pulled up the screen she announced, "Well, there you go! It's a boy!" She didn't know about our four girls, so she didn't think a thing of it one way or another. Us on the other hand? We looked at each other and just started laughing.
Of course, we didn't quite believe her- although she was completely convinced. It was so funny and surprising to see Courtney's face. Such a different reaction than what I had expected. I guess I had always imagined him jumping up and down or something if the day ever came when he found out he was getting a boy (although I don't know why- he's not really the jumping up and down type).
As we left the office and went on to run a few errands and go to dinner, I couldn't quite read him. For one, I don't think he believed it. And two? Well. . .I found out as the night went on. After a while of driving, I finally burst out with, "I can't believe it! I thought you'd be crazy with excitement and you seem so. . .well, so calm!" To this, he started to explain how he suddenly had so much more to think about than he had before! With the girls, he explained, he didn't feel so much pressure. After all, weren't they kind of my domain. (I never noticed this, he's always been pretty involved). Now, he was already feeling the need to step it up, after all, in his racing mind, raising a boy would be require a lot more involvement on his part. I could see his concerns were mounting with every minute.
As we walked into Sportsman's Warehouse to run an errand, we walked over by the little boys clothing, something we'd obviously never done before. Soon he burst out with, "And what if he doesn't like what I like? Maybe he won't like football. . .What if he doesn't like the outdoors?. . .Maybe he won't even like to work with me. . ." The list of worries was growing, and it had only been an hour.
Our last stop was to run into Old Navy to get a little something to make the announcement to the girls. They were staying with Courtney's parents and we had decided we'd buy some clothing, either boyish or girlish, wrap it up, and let them open it to tell them the big news. They had been dying to know. It was (and still is) so strange for me to look at boys clothes. Out of habit, I seem to navigate to pink. When we happened upon this little onesie that said, "Handsome. . .just like daddy", I knew we'd found the perfect thing! As we strolled up to the counter, I finally laughed right out loud when we walked by a display in the junior boys department and Courtney burst out with, "See? Like, what if he wants to wear skinny jeans?"
Of all disasters he could conjure up, this was obviously one of the worst.
The next day, Courtney could often be found pouring over ultrasound pictures, convinced that she had mistaken the umbilical cord for his you-know-what. At each look, it became increasingly clear that he was indeed the boy kind. The technicians would laugh that they were having a hard time getting a look at anything else because he was so proud to strut his stuff!
And with each peek, his Dad got more and more excited. Finally, a month or so ago, he looked over at me as we were laying in bed and said in wonderment, "I can't believe we're really having a boy!"
I can't either, but I sure can't wait to meet him.
And what did the girls think? I wish we'd have had a camera when they opened up that little gift bag. Squeals, squeals, and more squeals! All week they had been telling us how they really wanted a brother, but chances were more likely that it would be a sister. Like us, I think they would have been just as happy. But a brother! I guess none of us thought it would ever happen!
We're slowly getting into the blue mode. It's only taken me about five trips to the fabric store to pick out something without flowers. Luckily, Jodi (mom of five boys) was with me to kindly say, "Umm, that's a little girly". Last week, I even happened upon a few little somethings to "man-up" the nursery, complete with a little vintage bulldozer. You can bet his daddy was beaming at that.
I don't know who is more excited. Me, the girls, or their daddy. One thing is for sure, I'm feeling a big 'ol sigh of relief! Guess I'm off the hook this time. For once, I think Mr. Everything-will-work-out-so-don't-worry-so-much-Daddy is worrying enough for the both of us. I think I could get used to that. It's looking like this is one birds-and-the-bees talk I'm not going to have to take care of. My, my, my!. . . What will I do with all my time?
I'll guess I'll just spend it praying away the skinny jeans.