reassurance

Some nights go well and some don't.
This one didn't.

Some nights I do well, and some times I don't.
Tonight, I didn't.

I laid in my bed discouraged. Frustrated that I'm not more patient. That I get angry. Just this morning, I vowed that I wouldn't hurry the girls so much. But the night got away from us, and there I was.

"Hurry and get your job done."

"Hurry and get your homework done".

"It's past bedtime."

"HURRY!"

I wish we didn't have to hurry so much. And maybe we don't. . .after all, they're just kids. But still, it's all gotta be done. Doesn't it?

Anyway, I didn't do it well tonight. I felt unkind and unworthy. I rushed to my room, almost in tears. I wanted to cry, but I was too mad. Mad at myself.

Instead, I decided that once my breathing returned to normal, I would go crawl in bed with Kate. I needed to tell her I was sorry.

And you know what she said? She said it was okay. And when I told her I wished I was a better mom, she asked me in the cutest, most comforting voice, "How could you be a better mom?" (Like I was the mom of the year or something.)

I told her that I wouldn't get angry. And without missing a beat, she sweetly reassured, "Now, what kind of mom could do that?. . . Nobody's perfect."

For a moment, she was the caretaker, and I the cared for. We lay there with my arms wrapped around her, but it was she who had completely enveloped me in her love. It was so unconditional, so tangible that I could feel it.

Thanks be to a Father in Heaven who loves me enough to send me children who are better than I am. In so many ways, they are the teachers- I, the student.

So glad to have an eternity with these precious little girls.