you've come a long way, baby. . .

In May, Ryenne finished up another year of ballet. The payoff for all that work is the recital, where she gets to perform and we get to watch her. I know I'm her mother, but I just have to say it. She was absolutely charming.

This year, a week or two before the recital, she said, "It's weird. I'm a little nervous but so excited. I told Miss Frederick (her ballet teacher) that even though I get the butterflies, it's like I just can't stop smiling when I'm on the stage. I just can't stop smiling."

The fun part about that is seeing the change that has occurred within Ryenne over the past four years since she started ballet and tap lessons as a five year old. The first year she was a little "duckling". I didn't think we were going to be able to get her on that stage! In fact, a month or two before the recital her class was asked to perform at a community event. She was enjoying ballet and we were so excited. However, as the date got closer, Ryenne got more and more nervous. Despite our best efforts, she never did get up on stage. The only thing we saw that day was a cute little ducky in tears! I was so scared the same thing would happen in the recital. At the time, it seemed like the worst thing in the world! I had waited all year to see her dressed in a little tutu, dancing her little heart out.

My natural instinct was to bribe, make threats. . . whatever it took to ensure she'd be on that stage. But, fortunately a nicer, (too often hidden) part of my mothering took over. I heard myself telling my little ducky that the reason she was taking ballet was not to perform for all of us. She was taking ballet because it was something she enjoyed and was a way for her to learn lots of nifty things. And if (gulp) she didn't want to get up on that stage, that was okay. (All the while I was saying these things, my bigger, meaner, selfish half was screaming, ". . . force her! Do whatever it takes, but get her on that stage!")

Turns out, she did get on that stage that first year. She waddled right out in front of everyone in her little yellow tutu and tap shoes. And I was one proud little mama duck!

(My blurry little duckling, May 2004)

(Ryenne and Miss Frederick, 2004)

Since then, she has gradually gained more confidence. We had our fair share of days when she didn't want to go to class. I had a hard time knowing whether to make her stick with it or not. After all, I didn't want to be one of those moms, living vicariously through their children. Courtney and I discussed it over and over again, each time coming to the conclusion that once she got to class and started dancing, she was completely happy. She just had a hard time getting there. In the end, we felt like it was important for her to learn to stick with something she wants to do, even though it is sometimes hard. I can't count the number of times I cheered her on after class, "Good for you! You did something that was hard for you to do!" But I second guessed myself and felt like the meanest mom in the parking lot every time I pushed my teary eyed little girl out the door.

But you know what? This year it finally started to pay off. I think she is learning that the fun she has dancing is worth the effort it takes to work a little harder and push herself. She has learned that she can do hard things. No pushing her out the door this year! And we love watching her gracefully twirling around the house.

It was so much fun to watch her glide out onto the stage this year, completely confident and proud of herself. Seeing her having so much fun with that big smile on her face made all of those tough moments worth it. All of those doubts melted away as I realized this has been an important lesson learned. Even if she moves on to something new, I think she's gained a little experience with stickin' to it!

Way to go Ryenne Ashleigh! You really did light up the stage!