I'm not even sure why, because I know that overall, I've got a pretty good gig going here. Good husband. Sweet girls. Warm house. Plenty of everything.
Every once in a while, is it okay to be grouchy just because?
Anyway, enough of the whining. Let it be said that today, on an otherwise dismal day, Heavenly Father made the sun shine.
This was another busy morning. Get out of bed, despite wanting to crawl under the covers. Wake the girls. Rush through breakfast, 2 fast hairdos, and hurry to make the bus. Talk Emmy into getting dressed. Talk Emmy into wearing socks. Talk Emmy into getting her hair done. Take Buddy outside to potty. Change Claire's stinky diaper. Drive the preschool carpool. Change Claire's stinky diaper. Change Claire's stinky diaper. Change Claire's stinky diaper. Conclude that along with an ear infection and a nasty cough, Claire has also developed the trots. Dress Claire. Load Claire and Buddy into car. Negotiate our way through huge snowstorm to take Buddy to get haircut. Spend the entire drive home wondering how it is that I ever came to be taking a dog to a beauty parlor anyway?
And so after dropping off Buddy, Claire and I came home for a quick 20 minute interlude before we headed off to pick up the girls from preschool. I decided to take a breath to check my email and sat down at the computer with Claire on my lap.
I was rearranging Claire's cute little cheekies on my lap when I had a realization.
She wasn't wearing a diaper.
As in, she'd been goin' commando for about the past hour and half.
Oh, she had a onesie on. A comfy little dress. Tights. And boots. (On a snowy day like this, you can bet I'm going to bundle her up nice and cozy. . .I didn't miss a thing.)
Except for that diaper part.
I had a good laugh about this, which also made Claire have a good laugh. We thought we were pretty funny, the two of us.
All of the sudden, my day seemed pretty rosy.
This got me to thinking about a conversation I had a week ago with a good friend of mine. We were discussing faith. She was telling me how, in a recent faith-trying period of her life, she has come to rethink the way she views her relationship with Heavenly Father. She had been in need of a big miracle, but after lots and lots of prayers, her much needed miracle didn't come to be.
Her faith was shaken, and she even began to wonder if Heavenly Father loved her.
After lots of searching, she told me that because of this experience, she has come to see the small ways that Heavenly Father is present in her day to day life. Little things, such as prompting her not to lock the keys in the car. Helping her to remember an important paper for work.
Although these things, if gone awry, wouldn't have been the end of the world, it may have felt like it for her that day. I was touched as she explained her new understanding that sometimes the little miracles are even more important that the big ones. That she felt even more loved now- knowing that He cares enough about us that he would intervene in even the smallest ways . . because some days, those small things are huge.
The seemingly insignificant things can sometimes tell us more about His love than the biggest ones.
Today was one of those days. It may have been a small miracle that Claire went for a full hour and half without having an accident. If she hadn't, I would have cleaned it up. It wouldn't have been the end of the world.
But to me? It was huge. Today I was a little fragile, and He intervened. He must have known.
That little accident may have been the disaster that pushed me over the edge.