be of good cheer

I admit it. I've been a class A grouch this week. (Okay, maybe two weeks. Or three). And I've been getting worse by the day. It's not that I haven't tried, for I really thought I was. It's just that I was trying so hard, but still giving in to the little voice in my head. You know, the one that tells me "You're right, miss Kelly. You've really got it hard. You have lots of reasons to be dumpy and grouchy. Go ahead, be miserable. You deserve it." And then, just as quickly, this voice retreats (or maybe it's just mowed down) by a differing voice. This one reminds me how easy I have it. How blessed I am. And how ridiculous it is for me to be so selfishly stuck on my own perceived misery. The battle has been raging.

I was entrenched in the battle this afternoon while Emmy and I were waiting for Ryenne and Kate to finish gymnastics and piano lessons. It was then that Emmy perked up and said, "Lets go see Grandma and Grandpa Great". So contrary to plan, we made a left hand turn right there. And this, my friends, was just what I needed.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Grandpa and Grandma truly are great. While Grandma wasn't home for our visit, we had a lovely chat with Grandpa. I've told Courtney for years that he (and now lucky me) has the perfect grandpa. He is delightful. A farmer and cowboy who grew up driving teams of horses to plow his fields, he has endless stories to tell. He loves to reminisce, and I love to listen to his stories. These stories, sprinkled with an occasional swear world, are part of his charm. But the best part of Grandpa to me is his joy for life. He loves his family. You can't be with him for five minutes without him telling you how blessed he is. How super his family is. And how wonderful his life has been. To talk to Grandpa you think he'd led a charmed life, with no difficulties. Not so. He has just chosen to see it that way.

I'll never forget a story someone once told of Grandpa and his view of life. This person's father, a neighbor, had been changed by a conversation between he and Grandpa. After hearing of a challenge Grandpa had faced with one of his children, in which some had perceived Grandpa had been taken advantage of, this friend had asked him how he planned to deal with it. Wasn't he upset? He never forgot how Grandpa had replied. In a patient, loving voice, Grandpa explained that it just wasn't important. "Life is too short to have problems with the kiddies." And that seems to be his take on life. It's too short to remember the problems.

We were only with Grandpa for 20 minutes or so, but he spent the entire time rocking either Claire or Emmy, telling us all how we had made his day. That his body might be giving away, but no one can take away his family. And to him, there is nothing more precious. It's not just what he says, you know he really means it. But you know, sometimes it's still nice to hear the words. He added in frequent comments like, "Lucky you. You're in the best time of your life". . . "Oh, I know the demand on the mother is great. But the payoffs are priceless". . . "Oh, I've had a wonderful life. . .I couldn't have asked for more." He may have been happy to see us, but it was he who made my day.

Funny how Heavenly Father works. Sometimes he has to work double time on me, and tonight was one of those nights. I ended up going to a stake primary leadership meeting that I came awfully close to ditching. And I was inspired. You know what the theme of the evening was? Be of Good Cheer.

The stake primary president talked of perspective. She related a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott, who spoke of a small pebble. He said that when we pick up a small pebble and hold it right up to our eye, it takes in our entire vision. It blocks everything in our view and we see only the pebble. But once we pull it away, our view is opened up. While we can still see that pebble, it is only a small part of our vision. This is the same with the challenges in our lives. When we focus and dwell on those challenges, in essence, holding them right up to our eye, it is all we can see. It blocks us from seeing the beautiful blessings and good things in our life. With Heavenly Father's help, we can learn to remove that pebble from the forefront. He can teach us how to grow and learn how to better manage that pebble. It may still affect our life, but it doesn't have to determine it.

I better understand two things tonight. One is that I have been holding a pebble right in front of my vision, keeping me from enjoying the many, many blessings I have been given. The other is that my Father in Heaven knows me. He loves me and is aware of my struggles. And he helped me make some important detours today because He knew I needed those lessons. In all actuality, it was really He who made my day.

So for the past few hours, I've tried to move that pebble out of the forefront. And I've seen good things. . .

The tulips blooming by my front walkway. Tulips are my favorite flower, and this year I finally have them in my yard! Yellow and pink! It feels nothing short of a miracle. Glorious springtime!

Ryenne has made me laugh at least twice in the past two days. Yesterday I told her that we really needed to get her piano practicing done. I think my exact words were, "You haven't touched the piano in a month". She looked at me, reached out and touched the piano with the tip of her finger. "There," she said. Sassy, I know, but I loved it. The other time was today. She was telling me how nice Sarah's mom was and how nice Emma's mom was. So I asked, "So how about Ryenne's mom? Is she very nice? " To which she smiled and replied, "Well she is most of the time. But there are times when I really wonder." I loved her fun, sassy manner. (Now don't get me wrong, sassy is not always fun.) But it made me think that despite all the growing pains we are starting to experience, this age is a lot of fun!

And the list is growing. . .

I almost can't wait to wake up in the morning. I can't imagine what it will be like to view the world without a rock in my eye.