Keepin' Me Humble. . .

Courtney has been out of town the past two weeks, so we've had quite a bit of "girl time". Last week, Ryenne and I were working on some project when she asked me, "Mom, why does everyone like Dad more than you?" This took me off guard a bit. How do you answer a question like that? I thought for a minute, and then answered, "Well, maybe you should explain what you mean." To which she repeated her question, "I mean, why does everyone like Dad more than you?" Hmmmm. Who exactly is everyone? I realize this question has quite a bit of potential to help me learn a little more about myself and my own perception of my interpersonal relationships with others! You know how you sometimes wonder if you see yourself in the same way that others see you? Yip, this was one of those times.

With a bit more prompting for an explanation, such as "I guess I'm not sure who you mean by everyone," and "Maybe you could help me understand why you think 'everyone' likes Dad better than me", Ryenne offered a little help. "It's just that when Dad is here all the girls like to be on his team and sit by him and just seem to like him a little bit better." Ohhhh. I'm hoping 'all the girls' would mean all the girls in this house. And Courtney has since assured me that the reason they all want to be on 'his team' is that he is sort of a novelty when he's around because he's gone much of the time. I'll keep telling myself this is true. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm a fairly likeable enough gal, and in effort of self-improvement, perhaps even try to up my likeability a notch or two.

I received another boost to my self-esteem a few days later while in the store with the girls. I was pushing a shopping cart when Kate looked back at me and started giggling. Between giggles, she commented, "Look at your big tummy. It's sooo big it's touching the cart!" I laughed and tried to act shocked as I pointed to my very pregnant stomach. "What? I thought I was getting skinnier." To this, Kate quickly burst out "You call that skinny?" (She isn't known for mincing words. Pretty much calls it as she sees it!)

I've long ago come to the conclusion that one of Heavenly Fathers premier purposes for making us parents is to keep us humble. It's hard to get arrogant when you spend all of your time doing something that you know so little about. Seems to me that the longer I'm a parent, the more I realize how little I actually know about what I'm doing. It's all a bit of an experiment. And as my kids get older and are becoming more able to voice their own opinions about my abilities, my weaknesses are that much more apparent! So, I guess maybe I ought to sit down and write a list of those 'positive affirmation statements' I learned about in my college psych class. I can begin each day by looking in the mirror, and repeating such phrases as "I am likeable. . . When I make something yummy to eat, people want to be on my team. . .My fingers are skinny. . ." and so on. And, as far as measure for evaluation? The benefit of being a mom is that if I ever want that honest opinion about how others see me, I'm pretty sure I'll get that shortly after I walk out of my bedroom!