dictator me

This morning I was checking my email when I found this week's "family gem" from LDS.org in my inbox. And so, I clicked for a little bit of daily inspiration.

This is what I found:

"Parents need to draw the children into the problem-solving process by letting them be heard. For example, I came home at times to find that the children had not cleaned their rooms or done other things that they were supposed to do. My wife had her hands full with seven children to raise. So I called the children together for a short council meeting. We talked about what needed to be done and decided on a course of action. Talking about the course of action makes all the difference. If it's mandated or dictated, there will usually be resistance. But if the parents will create a climate conducive to openness, where every person is important and every opinion valued, they can create a kind of synergism in the home, where the combined action or cooperation that results is greater than the sum of the individual parts." (M. Russell Ballard)

This got me to thinking about yesterday.

Saturday evening the house was fairly clean. Not spotless, but somewhat tidy. By Sunday mid-morning, however, it was a wreck. Stuff everywhere. . .and not my stuff. Kids stuff. Cards, shoes, books, movies, and dress-up clothes found themselves strewn across every available surface.

So I did what any good mother would do.

I ordered them to clean it up.

And they didn't.

So I tried again.

And they didn't.

On the third (or fifth time-I can't remember), I explained that I had a fairly stressful day ahead, and I could really use their help.

They took no pity.

By now, it was time to get ready for church. I was finishing the last touches on what would be dinner, and so I made one last announcement. No more pleading for me, I decided.

"If this house isn't clean by the time we eat dinner, little people don't eat."

I don't know if I would label the reaction "resistance". More like apathy. I don't think they even batted an eye. They kept on doing their thing, and I did mine, and eventually we all went to church.

No one seemed too concerned as we arrived home. Until I pulled the food out of the oven. Until I cut the brownies. All of the sudden, everyone was very concerned with what I had to say.

And when Courtney, Claire, and I sat down at a table set for three, things started to happen. Right away. Within 15 minutes, the house looked a mite better.

In an effort to obey Elder Ballard's counsel, I'm going to try (once again). I'm turning a new leaf. I'll make a better effort to have family councils, where the girls and I can gather and together decide on a course of action. Where every "person is important and every opinion is valued". I'm gonna work on that synergism thing. Really, I'm truly inspired.


But I just have to say one thing.

Sometimes dictatorship works.