Tuesday, September 20, 2011

i'm sort of an old lady

So, yeah.  I use a walker.
As in, the same kind of get-up that is typically used by the eighty and older set.  The kind with tennis balls on the back legs. (I don't actually have those on mine yet, but Courtney says we really do need some so I don't scuff up the floor so much. . .ouch). 

Right now my rig is pretty plain, but Courtney has great plans to spice it up a bit.   He and Uncle Nate talked it over at lunch the other day and decided that it would look real cool with a few accessories such as spinner wheels, a rear-view mirror, zebra print duct tape, and possibly a steering wheel.  Ryenne is sure I need a basket on the front- adorned with silk flowers, of course.
My girls call me Grandma. And the other day, Ryenne accused me of giving her my "elderly powers" after complaining of her aching back.

Where my daily exercise routine used to consist of  a run, (or at least a good long walk), weights, lunges and squats-  my current routine is filled with killer exercises such as lifting my toes up and down fifteen times, or straightening my leg while sitting (hey, I do it ten times, even twice a day if I'm feeling sassy). 

In fact, since coming home from the hospital a week ago, I haven't set foot out of my house with the exception of a doctor appointment last Friday.  Courtney dropped me off at the front door, where I slowly made my way to the lobby to wait while he parked the car.  I sat and watched several elderly couples walk in, arms around each other for support.  I was startled to realize I was feeling more than a little bit jealous of how fast they were moving.  Really, I'm not kidding.  They were white haired and shuffling, and I was coveting their speed. 

The young moms who fairly flew through the front door, purses and diaper bags in tow- rushing to the next thing on their to-do list of the day?  I couldn't even envy them, for what I used to be is so far away right now.   And actually, if I am honest, I don't know if I ever want to hurry that fast again.  Slowing down has helped me see my life- well, perhaps more accurately, the people in my life, differently.

For now, I'm satisfied with my longing to move like a seventy year old.  Young enough to get around, but not so young to be in a hurry all the time.

BTW, my appointment went well.  I was amazed at how heavy my shoes felt on my feet, but I did my best to shuffle along with my walker, and looked only at the floor as to avoid any eye contact.  Courtney did point out just what I had suspected.  Everyone else was doing their best not to stare, but wanting to really, really bad.  Because lets face it, how many thirty-four year olds use a walker?

And.  I walked the whole way in and the whole way out.  No wheelchair.  That makes it the longest walk I've successfully tackled since this whole affair started - by a long shot.  Plus, I came home from my big outing and did physical therapy for about an hour with my at-home therapist.  (He reminded me not to look at my progress day-to-day, but week-to-week instead.  That helps me.)

So, this is me right now.  Once upon a time I used to run marathons, and now I feel proud about making it to the family room.  My world is turning at a whole different speed right now.

The thing is, I know This Is A Time To Be Happy.  I'm home, and there's no place I'd rather be.  Surrounded by the chaos of my children,  I'm living my happily ever after. 

I've been wanting to slow down for quite some time, but didn't know how to make it happen.  In fact, I prayed all summer long that I would know how to help our family slow down and make time to do those most important things.  Just now I'm realizing Heavenly Father answered that prayer in a way I didn't expect.  Turns out I have an optimum speed for learning, and it's just a bit slower than everyone else.

Every one's prayers are answered a little differently.  I guess mine came by way of a walker.

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