word of caution

As a favor to all, I have to issue a word of caution. A warning.

Perhaps something akin to the Surgeon General label you find on certain harmful products? Only I am securely fastening this one to me.

DO NOT VISIT ME ON THE 22ND TO THE 25TH DAY OF ANY GIVEN MONTH.

(It may result in a peril to your health. . .emotionally, at least.)

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I have become aware that I am constantly making discoveries about myself and life in general. Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am becoming more adept at the game, but at least I am making some interesting observations as I go. This was the case this weekend. I made yet another discovery about myself and my own peculiarities. I wouldn't say that I haven't picked up on this particular character trait before, it is just that this weekend it became very clear how ummmmm. . . .shall we say intense this situation can be.

You see, most of the time I consider myself a fairly laid back individual. I like to get things done and I enjoy feeling like I have some control over my life. That said, I also acknowledge that at this season of my life, I am not as on top of things as I would like. And I try to be okay with that. I'm not a very good mathematician, but I figure that for approximately 26 days of the month, I am pretty good at being flexible and taking our chaotic life in stride.

HOWEVER. I am noticing a trend here regarding the other 3-5 days of the month. And may I tell you- it is not a pretty trend. I am pretty sure there is a connection between this unfortunate digression of my own emotional stability and my hormonal state. In fact, yes. I am really quite sure.

For those of you who are fortunate enough to avoid me during this time of crisis, let me educate you. The events tend to unfold as follows:

1. Subject may have a slightly increased need for chocolate. (Yes, that is possible).
2. Subject becomes severely overwhelmed and frustrated at her seemingly utter lack of control over all aspects of her life.
*NOTE: Subject does NOT identify the correlation between her emotional state and the day of the month. Subject sincerely believes her life is in need of improvement.
2. Subject's "to do" list jumps from several items to an average of 150.
3. Anxiety and hyperventilation occur when the "to-do" list goes unfinished.
4. Daughters contemplate what is the matter with mother.
5. Husband arrives home from out of town and adopts look of confusion after witnessing the turbulent emotional state of wife.
6. Husband settles in for 3-5 days of upheaval and tears. (Lucky for him, he was fortunate to have missed the first 3 days and knows that for this time, at least, he only has 1-2 days to endure.) He patiently prepares for the monthly conversation titled, "15 Things We Should Be Doing To Improve our Family".
6. Husband dutifully apologizes for perceived shortcomings and promises to do better.
7. Husband understands the strain may be connected to wife's "emotional time of the month".
8. Husband wisely refrains from referring to said "time of the month" as the connection would anger wife and solicit a "that has nothing to do with this" response.
9. Following tears and discussion, wife feels much better.
10. Roller coaster slows and, thanks to loving and patient husband, slowly glides to a complete stop.
11. Wife goes to bed, and upon wakening feels remarkably refreshed.
12. Life is good. Happy, happy life. Lovely husband. Marvelous children.
13. Wife looks back to the previous days, shudders, and wonders what in the heck was the matter.
14. Wife doesn't want to mention the above realization to husband, fearing he won't take her seriously the next time. Must save face.
15. Wife kneels down and thanks her Father in Heaven for sending her a husband who is very good at dealing with her and all of her flaws. Her heart is very, very thankful. Admittedly a little crazy, but very thankful.